What is promiscuity? | Cheating in a Marriage| Why does it happen?

A Cheating partner is the cruelest experience faced in relationships. It feels worse in a monogamous committed relationship, that’s why promiscuity in a marriage is seriously frowned upon. Cheating in marriage is a sin and can provide the basis for divorce with heavy divorce settlement as it shows sexual immorality, lack of character as well as emotional trauma to the partner. 

What is Meant by Cheating in a Marriage?

What is promiscuity? | Cheating in a Marriage| Why does it happen?

Cheating in a marriage is called infidelity. Being emotionally or sexually unfaithful to your partner with whom you are in a relationship or being sexually or emotionally with another person is considered cheating in a relationship.  Being promiscuous in a marriage is considered a sin by most religions and is frowned upon in most cultures. In certain countries, promiscuity is punishable by law.

Why Do People Cheat?

According to psychologist

Mary C lamia, a Ph.D. psychologist defines infidelity as an act of involvement with the third person that violates the boundaries or standards of the relationship between romantic partners. 

He further explains his views by saying that Agreements about relationship lines can best be addressed as an excuse to learn collectively; particularly, to examine desires, values, and limitations. It is more effective than arguing what a friend can or cannot do is to open a discussion about what a spouse may be hesitant to express. Shame and the fear of shame inhibit couples from expressing what they want, need, or desire from a partner or keep them from disclosing what they feel or what they want  is losing in their relationship

According to psychologist , According to a relationship counselor , According to life coach

According to a relationship counselor

Jordan Madison defines cheating by mentioning “I consider what actually regards as cheating in a relationship rests on what the couple rules for their relationship. What may be looked at as infidelity for one person, may be an act of dishonesty for the next. For example, some partners may see watching porn as no big deal, and may even partake in watching it together. However, for others that can be a major offense to the relationship. While other people may consider cheating as purely physical, where some may feel even more deceived by emotional cheating.

In my opinion, a great rule of thumb for infidelity is if it is a secret or not. Wouldn’t you share with your partner what you are doing, or are you keeping it from them? If you are holding it from them, then odds are you know that they would not find what you are doing acceptable, and therefore you shouldn’t be doing it”.

According to life coach

Rick Clemons is an ICF-certified life coach who helps his clients going through divorces and downfall in love life as well as career. He strongly believes that everyone has their own definition of cheating and infidelity. It can be watching porn for one person and the second person considers being emotionally attached with someone rather than a partner and the rest of the people have different views and boundaries.

He also mentions that one of the toughest battles for many patients is recognizing that the betrayal took place from a distance of being misaligned in their occupied values. There is Some misalignment in their current relationship with their own values so they continue searching it somewhere and then get hooked up in an affair. If we would call for ourselves this one query, “What values are out of alignment for me in this relation?

Behaviors that Count as Cheating

Behaviors that Count as Cheating

As we previously mentioned, there is not a well-defined limit to describe cheating. But there are some behaviors that mark sexual immorality if maintained with someone rather than your partner. It is worth noticing that many times people justify their chatting by saying that it is harmless and won’t destroy their relationship with a partner but on the other hand they divide their attention and emotions with the third person also. So in nutshell, the following behavior may becomes toxic and gives a clear indication of infidelity or being cheated on in a relationship

  • Flirting 
  • Discussion on sexual nature
  • Online chatting without bringing in the knowledge of your partner
  • Sharing private and personal information

Types of Cheating

You may find many different types of cheating. From inappropriate texting to sexual intercourse, everything counts for infidelity if it is with someone other than your partner. Social media provides numerous platforms in the form of online dating applications that increase sexual immorality as well as betrayal and dishonesty in relationships. The two main types of cheating are physical and emotional. Rests are subtypes and subclasses.

Emotional infidelity

Spending emotions, time, and affection to someone else outside of the relationship are defined as emotional infidelity. Strong emotional attachment with the third person and neglecting the presence of your partner is considered cheating as it makes the partner unloved and unwanted

Physical infidelity

Sexual involvement of physical involvement of a person who is in a relationship with someone other than a spouse or partner is defined as physical and grabbing one body part also comes under physical infidelity. 

How Common is Cheating in Marriage?

It is hard to find out the exact percentage of married couples that cheat or face cheating in marriage because most research and studies are based on self-reporting. When you combine all the data to find the conclusion, the result shows that about 15-20 % of married couples cheat. 

Characteristics of a Cheating Woman

The following enlisted characteristics are found to be most common in the women who are cheating in marriage. 

  • Clog in communication: Communication is key to a successful relationship but women who commit cheating in marriage show “ less or No proper communication” as the first sign of disloyalty. She does not want to speak up more briefly to her husband. 
  • Staying un-committed: Unfaithful women show no commitment with her husband . She wants to enjoy the fun of having multiple love interests at same time. 
  • Always an offender: A common trick that women play while cheating in marriage is to offend their partner by their acts. They always find excuses to justify her reason rather ten accepting their mistakes.  
  • Show weird privacy levels: It is perfectly alright to share your passwords and mobile phone with one another. But a cheating woman makes it a lot harder to let you go through her phone. 
  • Illogical demands: Cheating increases the appetite for unnecessary desires in women. So If their partners do not fulfill their financial , emotional and sexual desires then they get involved in an affair.
  • Owns separate social life: as cheating women do not consider her husband as their best friend so they keep their separate social circle. It reflects her lack of interest in relationships and increased possibility of extra marital affairs.

Characteristics of a Cheating Man

Research reveals that all cheating men show 10 characteristics in common. These common traits are common in men who are chatting in marriage. These characteristics are listed as follows

  • He is secretive about his cell phone: Cell phone is a means of communication that reveals each and every detail except if the call log has been cleared or data has been deleted. If your husband does not let you go through his phone and never speaks about his password ten definitely something is fishing. 
  • He does not show obedience  to his parents: If your man speaks unkindly to his parents and shows extreme rude behaviour with them then how is he supposed to respect you as a wife? Such men show disrespect to their partners by cheating in marriage. 
  • He is insecure: Men having low self esteem and having insecurities about their career and job want to boost their confidence with a marital affair. 
  • He is forgetful: Men who are cheating in marriage are usually stuck between two females in their life and they mix up your details with her. They find it easy to forget your minor details rather than being confused and get caught with details of other women in their life.
  • He is a narcissist: Narcissists are self centered and mature. They lack empathy and view women as an object. They do not respect their partners at all and are subjected to serial cheating in marriage. 
  • He is getting vices; He does not show self discipline and even does not understand what is it?. He does not show balance in life .
  • He show less or no affection at all: Men who cheats in marriage have sex with their eives but do not show affection or care. It is because faking care and affection for someone is too difficult. 
  • He is handsome: Men take advantage of good personality and they never mind hanging out with female office colleagues or being involved in extramarital affairs with a secretary. Their charm add a 
  • He is powerful: Study shows that mostly powerful men are unfaithful. Power makes men invincible and they consider that no one can confront them for cheating in marriage. 
  • He is critical: Cheaters always try to manipulate their partners . They are always doubting you and questioning your rights. This critical behavior shows their selfishness makes them bold enough to hurt the feelings of others by cheating them in marriage. 

What Percentage of Affairs are Discovered?

Cheating in marriage in the form of extramarital affairs is so common but emotionally cheating and online affairs in today’s world are also the reason for ending up marriages. Statistics about affairs reveal interesting facts. It includes

  • 2%: Number of children who are the result of affairs.
  • 3%: Marry the lovers they had the affair with.
  • 50-60%: Number of married men who engage in extramarital sex at some time during their relationships.
  • 80%: People who become addicted to an online affair.
  • 75%: Percent of divorces in which cheating is a factor.
  • 25%: Affairs lasting less than a week.
  • 98%: Men who have frequent fantasies about someone other than their partner, but it’s not just men.
  • 80 percent of women do it too.
  • 65%: Affairs that ended within the first six months.
  • 57%: People have used the internet to flirt.

Final word

Promiscuity, Cheating, and betrayal in a marriage are among the most saddest and traumatic conditions that not only affect an individual life but affect the whole society. The ethical and moral values are being affected which results in an unhealthy community with mental and emotional disturbance. The best way to avoid infidelity is to remain clear and straightforward with your partner and give them enough space to tell you exactly what they want. There is nothing wrong with breaking up with your partner and hooked up with another person instead of choosing cheating and betrayal.

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